10 Sober Summer 2016 Dating Tips!
We’re so excited about this summer, we can barely contain it!
Sober summer 2016 is off to a great start here at Harbor Village- next week we’re launching our brand new eMagazine! Plus through the month of July we will be hosting a Sober Summer 2016 photo contest! What are you doing this summer?
If your answer is looking for love, you’re not alone- summer romance is on the mind of many people who are single and ready to mingle. Rather you are looking to find your soulmate or just for a companion to take your selfies with (we’re not judging) there’s a few things we all need to keep in mind, especially if you are newly sober.
Navigating the world of dating is tough enough, but it can be a dangerous slope for people in recovery. That of course doesn’t mean it’s impossible! Here are 10 sober summer 2016 dating tips to help you on your way!
Keep Your Sobriety as First Priority
It is absolutely crucial that your sobriety remains the first priority in your life. While there are many compromises we make for love, sobriety is not one of them. Don’t put yourself in any situation that could potentially derail your recovery; that includes beginning a relationship with someone who is active in their substance abuse.
Take Your Time Learning About New People
If you know you have a pattern of rushing things in relationships or monkey barring from relationship to relationship, now is the time to, well, take your time. What’s the hurry, right? Getting to know people before you commit to a relationship can save you some time, trouble, and potential heartbreak- as will following the next tip.
Figure Out What You Want in a Partner- Beyond Physical
When we ask the question “what do you look for in a partner?” too often the first five things that come to mind are physical preferences of height, hair and eye color, physique, etc. This sober summer 2016, take the time to delve deeper. Consider what type of qualities will best complement and enrich your life. Seeking those qualities in your partner, but stay open to others, too!
Recognize Potential Red Flags and Address Them
Don’t be blind and naive! There are a lot of ways people can manipulate and abuse you that don’t look like manipulation and abuse. Jealousy, controlling behavior, and emotional exploitation are massive red flags that should never be ignored- I don’t care how attractive they are. If your gut says something’s wrong, trust yourself.
Know When to Walk Away
Dating, romance, and falling in love is supposed to be fun- this sober summer 2016 is all about fun! So why waste your summer in a situation that doesn’t make you happy? You don’t owe anyone anything- don’t hold on to toxicity!
Don’t Rush Into Commitment
Thoughts of summer romance can have us scrambling desperately to experience that kind of whirlwind romance. While I certainly believe that kind of love does happen, don’t get so swept up in the prospect of it that you lose yourself. Getting married after a week has worked, yes, but those cases are few and far between. If you are serious and if it is real and meant to be, it will still be there in five years.
Don’t Sacrifice Your Morals
The tools and lessons you gain in rehab to guide your sober path are important to hold onto no matter who or what enters your life. This moral compass helps you to steer clear of potential triggers and bad situations, don’t toss it aside in a bid to impress someone. Your partner (even if just for the summer) should respect that you and your sobriety- period.
Don’t Forget Your Friends!
Sober summer 2016 won’t be nearly as fun without your friends, so don’t forget them while you’re dating. Plan a trip with just your girls (or boys, or non-binary friends) one weekend, make sure you keep in contact as best as you can. Your friends will appreciate the thoughtfulness and the summer will be even more fulfilling!
Be Open to New Experiences
Dating this summer is also the perfect chance to try out some things that you normally wouldn’t do. Maybe it’s because you’ve never had the chance, or you never had anyone who was willing to go- whatever the case may be, take the opportunities as they present themselves (within reason.) As long as you’re remaining safe and conscious of your sobriety, there’s no reason you can’t be a little adventurous.
Spending the Summer Single is Perfectly Fine!
Please please please- don’t take this article to mean you have to be in a relationship for this summer to be fulfilling. It’s absolutely possible to happy single- in fact, you should be able to be happy without a partner. If you’re early in your recovery, it may be best to remain single for a while to understand who you are in your new sober life. Besides, travelling and vacationing solo can be truly enlightening!
What other tips can you think of for sober dating? Leave them in the comments!
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About the Author
Alexandrea Holder is a South Florida native working toward double Master’s degrees in Psychology and English. She finds the psychological aspects of addiction and mental illness fascinating, as both are prevalent in her family’s history. When not researching and spreading addiction awareness, Alexandrea enjoys sparring, artistic pursuits, and admiring puppies online.