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All of Your Snorting Questions Answered: 17 Weird Things to Stop Snorting

  • All of Your Snorting Questions Answered: 17 Weird Things to Stop Snorting

    All of Your Snorting Questions Answered: 17 Weird Things to Stop Snorting

    All of Your Snorting Questions Answered: 17 Weird Things to Stop Snorting image

    After my unfortunate escapades on briefly covering a middle school boy snorting smartie-shaped methamphetamine, I wanted to know how common instances like these are. I took to google to hopefully discover obscure stories from decades past. My main focus was snorting strange things- and the internet delivered all too well.

    Because there are so many questions about snorting common household things, and objects no one would want introduced into their bloodstream and delicate olfactory system, I’m going to address some of the questions I stumbled across.

    I can never unsee what I’ve seen, sadly.

    Science Fact: The Olfactory System & Awkward Things You Snort

    The blood-brain barrier describes the absorption rate, or resistance, to chemicals, nutrients, and otherwise anything that goes in your body to assimilate into the brain- and everywhere else. The typical measurement of the blood brain barrier throughout the body is eight. The olfactory system -our nose region of sniffs- has a blood brain barrier of five. The olfactory is particularly susceptible to things you shouldn’t snort. Because the blood-brain barrier is considerably lower, substances readily pass directly to the brain.

     

     

    1. What Are the Effects of Snorting Sugar?

    Why do you want to snort sugar? Eat sugary things! Enjoy the sugar. Stop putting it in your nose- it belongs in your thighs, and guess what? It’ll still get there. Surprisingly, I’m not an expert in sugar snorting, but it’s possible for maggots to take up residence in your nose.

    Doesn’t that sound lovely?

    Flies are attracted to food things, like sugar- and may lay their eggs in your nose. Although there are no reported cases of sugar-maggots– there are cases of food-snorting maggots.

    Yum.

     

    2. Is it More Effective to Snort Methadone?

    No, no, no. Methadone is a prescribed opiate to help people in recovery stop snorting opiates. And yes, you can overdose on methadone. Stop it.

    3. What Are the Effects of Snorting Flexeril?

    You think it’s a good idea to snort a skeletal muscle relaxant? It’s not. It’s fatal. You’re going to die.

    4. What Are the Side Effects of Snorting Altoids?

    Imagine cramming 50 candy canes up your nose and being vaulted into perennial Christmas- but it burns, and you have no presents. That’s what it’s like to snort altoids. You’ll damage your mucus membrane, which may lead to sinus infections.

    You’ll also bleed the tears of Santa, through your nose. No amount of mintyness is worth snorting altoids. In fact, the blood and mucus discharge would probably eliminate any salvageable freshness.

    5. What Are the Effects of Snorting Benadryl?

    I’ve heard snorting Benadryl makes people “cry like a baby.” Does that sound enjoyable to you? Fast acting Benadryl is a thing, no need to snort the antihistamine.

    6. Can You Snort Cinnamon?

    Can you? Yes. Should you? That would be a resounding NO!

    Take it from this really sad guy:

    7. What Are the Effects of Snorting Salt?

    Burning. Lots of burning. Remember what it’s like accidentally sucking salt water in your nose at the beach? It’s like that, but 100xs worse.

    8. What Are the Effects of Snorting Comet or Ajax?

    Death. Really, you’re going to die.

    9. What are the Effects of Snorting Lithium?

    Sudden cardiac death. It’s not assured, but you risk it. Fight the Darwin effect, fight it.

    10. Can You Snort Aspirin to Avoid Its Negative Effects of Ulcers?

    All of Your Snorting Questions Answered: 17 Weird Things to Stop Snorting imageNot a chance! You’re still ingesting it, and it still goes to your stomach.

    11. Is Adderall Okay to Snort?

    Prescription medications are never okay to snort. This is almost the equivalent of snorting meth. And yes, adderall is terribly addictive.

    12. What Happens When You Snort Pepper?

    It burns. I hope you’ve discovered a pattern here.

    • Pain
    • Nasal Bleeding
    • Blood
    • Regret & Sadness

    13. Can Snorting Nutmeg Get You High?

    Yes. But you’ll be unable to speak, may descend into delirium, have a severely upset stomach, and racing heart. All of these wonderful things for up to 48 hours!

    14. Is Snorting Condoms Harmful?

    Do you want your future employer, lover, or friends to see you snort an entire condom up your nose and out of your mouth? I wouldn’t talk to you again. And if I did, yes, I would judge you. A lot. What if it gets stuck? What if you actually swallow it?

    What if you actually need a condom?

    Is potential pregnancy or contraction of STDs really worth it? What about awkward nose discharge and irritation?

     

    15. Is It Safe to Take Aspirin After Snorting Heroin?

    Probably not. But the heroin snorting part? You’re more likely to overdose than worry about the aspirin. Experience tells us mixing multiple substances together is no bueno. If you need aspirin after snorting heroin, maybe you might consider getting help to stop snorting heroin?

    No more heroin and no more aspirin!

    16. What Happens If You Snort Dental Floss?

    I can’t even deal with this. I’ll let him do all the talking:

     

    17. Does Snorting Morphine Sulfate Prevent Withdrawals?

    No darlings. Any opiate taken internally will certainly precipitate withdrawal. . . stop it.

     

    Dare I ask, what’s the strangest thing you’ve put in your nose? Or maybe your friends?

    I guess I’ll have to ask my parents.

    Further Reading:

    Whoopi Goldberg, Menstruation, and Marijuana: What Women Need to Know

    Florida Zombies Are Back Again But It’s Not BathSalts, New Opiate: Spice?

    Addiction Treatment Guides and Resources

    Looking For a Job After Rehab? Here are the Most In-Demand Jobs of 2016!

    Crocodiles Guard Half a Million Worth of Meth and Cash

    Comments (2)

      • ADG
      • June 6, 2016 at 1:24 am

      I think you mean, NO BUENO, not NO BENO. I am not Spanish and I know that.

      Reply

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