Outrageous Things People Do When They’re High
A few months back I covered a few crazy stories I came across involving the insane things people get into while under the influence of drugs and alcohol as part of National Recovery Month. You can read those stories here, as well as check out a few Flakka freakout videos if you haven’t yet been convinced not to try ‘gravel.’ (So appealing!)
Since the year is rounding out shortly, let’s recap on some of the insane substance -related news stories to happen in 2015, shall we?
High on Meth? Better Put on My G-String and Chill With a ‘Panda’
Only two weeks ago, Southwark Crown Court heard the story of how 53 year old Desmond Moran managed to sneak into a West London apartment belonging to an unnamed woman and her two children while clad only in stockings and a g-string. Why? Well, he was high on methamphetamine.
The woman described the terrifying (but also a bit hilarious) event to the courts, stating that Moran moved slowly about the flat, at one point moving to the window and staring blankly out of it. Eventually Moran left her room and the woman locked herself and her children in the bedroom of their live-in nanny and called the cops. Moran was found in the basement, still sporting the fishnets and revealing underwear.
Moran told courts he hadn’t entered the home with any intent to do harm, he did however claim at some point that he thought she was a panda.
Yeah. A Panda.
It’s the Call of the Wild! (And more Meth)
Listen, we’ve all had really long days where something happens that just doesn’t make much sense. However, most of us have never left our toddler with “a man in a blue fireman’s jacket” in the middle of the woods. Maybe that’s just something that happens when you’ve been under the influence of meth for a while.
A woman in Campbell County left her toddler in the woods while high on meth. Thankfully the incident happened hear a dog center and the child was found by an employee, accompanied by one of the dogs in question. Other than a few cuts and bruises, the child was unharmed- despite the chilling 45° weather and meager blanket in the child’s possession.
The mother did eventually contact police regarding her missing child. She said the reason she left was because she heard her father’s voice calling her.
…Do you think they give out honorary scout badges for surviving in the woods through a freezing night as a two-year old?
‘Florida Man’ Strikes Again! This Time He’s Surfing Strangers’ Cars! (Because Meth)
It seems like every day there’s a new ‘Florida Man’ story bringing shame and amusement to the Sunshine State. Honestly, when I read this story, I was surprised it wasn’t Flakka- the new and seriously terrifying menace of Florida’s streets. From running from invisible would-be assailants to attacking a police precinct, it just seemed like a story that would involve a drug known as ‘$5 Insanity.’
But no: methamphetamine is the culprit here, too.
Apparently Jonathan Restrepo, 25, decided that surfing the streets on the tops of strangers’ cars sounded like the perfect thing for a Spring afternoon. Of course, he didn’t tell anyone about his plans- that would take the ‘stranger’ out of it!
So here he is, minding his own business, riding down the South Florida streets on top of random cars, screaming for people to let him into their vehicles, when all of a sudden the cops show up and bust up the party! After a momentary (and poorly played) game of chase, the cops managed to get a hold of Restrepo and took him to the hospital with a charges of criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.
Way to kill the fun, guys.
The Best Disguise for Robbery is Nudity
Yeah, definitely a meth trend here. This time the story comes from Alabama!
Back in August, a man near Montgomery broke into a convenience store and completely trashed the place. He caused extensive damage to the inside and out of the store after smashing the window with a fire extinguisher. Though I’m sure the owners of the store were devastated to watch the events unfold on their security cameras, they were probably also a bit disturbed by the burglar’s attire.
Well, his lack thereof, more likely.
Yeah, 34 year old Brian Creamer (you can’t be serious, his last name is Creamer?) decided the best costume was no costume when he broke into the Marathon gas station and trashed the place. I’m guessing he wasn’t concerned about glass or debris injuring any… sensitive areas when he made his fashion statement. Also, probably not thinking about shielding his identity, as police were able to identify him pretty quickly. I’m thinking he just might be bad at this whole burglary thing in general.
Bonus Story! Drunk Ambulance Theft!
I couldn’t pass this one by. I tried, but it was just so amazing.
Just…imagine it. 22 year old college kid, drunk after a frat party, most likely, happens upon an ambulance on his way back to his dorm room (I’m adding these details because that’s how it happened in my head). He sees this ambulance, there on a call completely unrelated to him, and thinks, “yes, I am going to do the thing. I am going to drive that ambulance and it will be awesome.”
Mind you, stealing an ambulance, even for the short period of time that he did, is a serious offense which landed him in jail with a $1,500 bond (college students can’t afford that) and charges of criminal possession of stolen property in the second degree and driving while intoxicated. Additional charges are still pending.
But, you know… this is definitely a story he and everyone involved will be telling for the rest of their lives.
Know of any other outrageous drug-related news stories? Let us know!
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About the Author
Alexandrea Holder is a South Florida native working toward double Master’s degrees in Psychology and English. She finds the psychological aspects of addiction and mental illness fascinating, as both are prevalent in her family’s history. When not researching and spreading addiction awareness, Alexandrea enjoys sparring, artistic pursuits, and admiring puppies online.